Job – the Social Media version

Here is a crazy attempt at a Social Media version of the book of Job.  Not sure how well it worked – but her goes….


Mr. Job (@Job123) God has blessed me so much – thousands of sheep, camels, and oxen.  #LifeIsGood
Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123: God is indeed Good.  #GodBePraised
Mr. Job (@Job123) I love my children. I pray for them daily and offer burnt offerings to forgive any sin they may have committed.  #LifeIsGood
Job’s Wife (@SweetThing) Love them too!  RT: @Job123 I love my children. I pray for them daily and offer burnt offerings to forgive any sin they may have committed.  #LifeIsGood
Bildad the ShoeMaker (@NiceShoes) @Job123  Children are indeed the blessings of life.  #GodIsGood
Mr. Job (@Job123) I love the Lord – he is so good to me.  I thank him for the gift of a life of integrity and blessings.  #LifeIsGood
Zophar the Naamathite (@PrettyBoy23) @Job123.  God has indeed blessed you for your obedience. #GodIsGood
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The God (@IAM) @TheBadDude What are you doing?
Satan (@TheBadDude) @IAM Nothing
The God (@IAM) @TheBadDude  I find that highly unlikely.
Satan (@TheBadDude) @IAM Just wandering around, looking at things.
The God (@IAM) @TheBadDude Have you seen my servant Mr. Job (@Job123) – this guy rocks!  He is a man of integrity – blameless in all he does.
Satan (@TheBadDude) @IAM That guy – he’s got a pretty cushy life so why wouldn’t he like you?  You take care of him pretty good – keeping all the bad stuff away.  I’d bet he’d change his tune if things got touch for him.
The God (@IAM) @TheBadDue  I believe in him.  But you can test – just don’t harm him physically.
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Job Servant 1 (@BillyBoy12) @Job123.  Terrible News!  We we’re tending your oxen and donkeys and the raiders came and I am the only one who survived!
Mr. Job (@Job123) Oh no – all my oxen and donkeys we’re taken by raiders.
Bildad the ShoeMaker (@NiceShoes) I’m so sorry – but hold onto God.  #GodIsGood
Job Servant 2 (@IWorkHard88) @Job123.  It was horrible – we we’re tending the sheep when suddenly a burning fire from the heavens came down upon us.  All the sheep – and the poor shepherds – are gone -I alone survived to tell you.
Mr. Job (@Job123) More bad news – my sheep and the shepherds are gone.  Fire from the heavens came and destroyed them.
Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  How Terrible – know that I am praying for you and your family.
Job Servant 3 (@MessengerBoy1997) @Job123.  The camels – they’re all gone.  Chaldean raiders came and attacked us, killing my friends and taking the camels.  I was lucky to escape with my life.
Mr. Job (@Job123) My Friends – this day gets darker – all my camels are gone and more servants murdered.
Zophar the Naamathite (@PrettyBoy23) @Job123.  I am so sorry – know that I am thinking of you.  But trust in God.  #GodBePraised
Job Servant 4 (@Zebby) @Job123.  A great and terrible tragedy has occurred!  I was at your oldest son’s house when a great wind swept in from the wilderness and destroyed the house.  But it gets worse – all of your other sons and daughters we’re there – no one survived.
Mr. Job (@Job123) This is a terrible and dark day – all my children are dead – my beautiful children are dead.
Job’s Wife (@SweetThing) Tell me this isn’t true -that I’m dreaming.  Everything is gone – my children are gone!
Bildad the ShoeMaker (@NiceShoes) @Job123 I’m so sorry – my heart aches for you.
Mr. Job (@Job123) I came into this world with nothing and with nothing I will leave.  God gave me all these blessing and he choose to take it away.  Yet I will still praise my God.  #GodIsGood
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The God (@IAM) @TheBadDude  What did I tell you – Job (@Job123) is still blameless and a man of integrity despite all that he lost.
Satan (@TheBadDude) @IAM I bet if he was attacked directly he wouldn’t be such a goody boy.  Attack him in his body and see what happens!
The God (@IAM) @TheBadDude  Very well – you can attack him directly -but spare his life.
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Mr. Job (@Job123) Pray for me my friends – I am in terrible pain! I have boils from head to toe and they hurt terribly.
Job’s Wife (@SweetThing) @Job123.  What is wrong with you?  Why don’t you just curse God and die!  #Ihatelife
Mr. Job (@Job123) @SweetThing   Should we just praise God for the good and never accept the bad?  #GodBePraised
Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  I’ve got your back – I’m praying for you daily.  #GodIsGood
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Mr. Job (@Job123) I wish I was dead!  It would have been better if I had never been born!
Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  That’s a bit dramatic – you don’t really mean that.
Mr. Job (@Job123) Why wasn’t I born dead?  If I had I would be a rest – like so many are now.
Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  Think about what you are saying!  You’ve been a comfort to those in the past – a man of integrity. But now when some trouble comes you give up?
Mr. Job (@Job123) Oh God – why do you give life to those who are bitter?  Why give life to those who are surrounded with troubles?  I can’t eat and my pain comes out like steams of water.
Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  Bad things occur when people disobey God.  Who is really innocent before God – everyone is guilty.  How could he trust us – those made of dust and so easily crushed into nothing.


But go to God and ask for forgiveness  – go to him in humility – as he is far above us and too wonderful to understand.  If you confess your sins he will bless you in return.  He will rescue you if you will humble yourself before him!


Mr. Job (@Job123) God has struck me down – I am weighed down in misery.  Don’t even our animals cry when they have no food?  My hope now is that God would grant my risk and let me die.  But in all this I have not defied my God – I have not lost my faith.
Mr. Job (@Job123) @Eli1000.  Your words have a ring of truth to them – but they ignore my pain!  Do you think I am lying?  Do you think I’ve forgotten what the truth looks like?
Mr. Job (@Job123) Oh God – I am so miserable.  I hate now every day of my life and wish for death.  Why do you pay attention to us? What have I done to deserve this fate?
Bildad the ShoeMaker (@NiceShoes) @Job123.  I can’t listen in silence any more to you going on and on.  God upholds justice – so you children must have deserved their fate.  But if you ask God for forgiveness and live in obedience he will bless you once again.
Mr. Job (@Job123) @NiceShoes.  I hear your words – but how can I prove my innocence?  Who can stand before God – he is too mighty to behold.  He made the heavens and moves the mountains in his anger.


Who can go before God?  I cannot come near to him to speak my case.  He attacks me without cause and fills me with sorrows.  Whatever happens I will be found guilty – for who can argue with him?  If only there was a mediator to speak on my behalf.

Mr. Job (@Job123) Oh God – the pain in my soul must ask why?  Why are you doing this?  I know you made me – from within the womb – showing such love.  But why did you let me be born?  I only have a few days left on this earth – so please grant me some peace!
Zophar the Naamathite (@PrettyBoy23) Do you think just by talking you can make yourself innocent?  Who are you to question God?  Surely he is punishing you far less than you deserve.


Get rid of your sins!  Pray to God for forgiveness and leave this sinful life behind.  Then God will grant you the peace that so desire.

Mr. Job (@Job123) @PrettyBoy23.  So you think you know everything and I know nothing?  Look around – the wicked provoke God yet are left alone.  But he shames the leaders and he disarms the strong.


I want to present my case directly to my God – but you attack me with your lies!  You we’re wiser when you kept your mouth shut.  Do you think God needs your lies to defend him?


Mr. Job (@Job123) God – I have but 2 requests – to cease attacking me and let me stand without terror in your presence.  Please bring me before you and I will answer to you.  Show me what I have done – tell me why you have turned away.


How short is our life – so full of trouble.  Can you let me rest in the grave until your anger passes?

Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  Have you no fear of God?  Your very words condemn you – showing your guilt.  Who do you think you are – can you compare to God?


But listen – the wicked hide in terror – knowing the consequences of their actions.   While they may be rich for now – their judgement is coming.

Mr. Job (@Job123) @Eili1000.  Who taught you how to comfort someone who is hurting?  You criticize me instead of encouraging me?
Mr. Job (@Job123) God – why do you hate me so much?  My body is ruined from weeping – I cover myself in sacks to show my pain.  Yet I know I am pure and blameless.   I wish I had someone to mediate between me and my God – to present my case before the Almighty.


Oh God – only you can help me now – no one will defend me.

Bildad the ShoeMaker (@NiceShoes) @Job123.  Will you stop your whining yet?  The wicked make their own paths to destruction – digging their own graves.
Mr. Job (@Job123) @NiceShoes.  Why do you torment me with your words?  Do you think you are better than me?  Do you think that my suffering is itself evidence of my guilt?  God has done this to me – yet I don’t know why.


My friends – why don’t you help me?  But I know after I go down into the grave and my body is no more I will see my God.

Zophar the Naamathite (@PrettyBoy23) @Job123.  I can’t stop myself – I must answer you.  Don’t you know that the wicked only succeed for a short time?  When they think they are safe God will punish them for their sins.  Floods and fire will be the reward for their wickedness.
Mr. Job (@Job123) @PrettyBoy23.  Listen to me – please.  My issue is with God – and not with others.  Why do the wicked get to prosper – why does he let them?  Both the rich and the poor are buried the same – to be food for worms.


But you’re going to tell me some story of how God evens the score?  Please don’t – your words are empty and are no comfort.

Eliphaz the Termite (@Eli1000) @Job123.  You really don’t think that God would punish you unless you are guilty?  Maybe you refused water to the thirsty – or demanded security for a loan.    God is too great for you to understand – his ways are above you.


Those who do right are glad when the wicked are destroyed.  So submit yourself to God – listen and do what is right.  Then he will restore you and give you joy and give you success in all you do.

Mr. Job (@Job123) @Ei1000.  If only I could go before God and present my case to him.  I know he would listen to me and talk to me.  But I cannot find him – neither in the North or the South or anywhere.


I have not strayed from his paths – if he tests me I will come out pure.  But God does as chooses to do – and it scares me to the core.  I am sick and in darkness.

Mr. Job (@Job123) Why do the wicked escape judgement?  The wicked take what is no theirs – leaving others in pain and misery.   They murder the innocent then escape into the night.
Bildad the ShoeMaker (@NiceShoes) How can anyone be innocent before God? He is too powerful for us to compare to.
Mr. Job (@Job123) @NiceShoes.  What have you done to help anybody?  God made the heavens and the earth and they tremble in his presence.


I vow now before my God that I will speak no evil – I will defend my integrity to the grave.  I can teach you about God and his power – but what good would it do?

Mr. Job (@Job123) We can find precious gems deep in the earth – but where do we find wisdom?  It is more valuable than gold – yet it is hidden from us.


God alone understands wisdom – only he knows where it is.  The fear of God is true wisdom – to forsake evil is true understanding.

Mr. Job (@Job123) I long for the good days – when God took care of me and I felt his friendship.  I was held in high regard and was able to help those around me.  I brought hope where there was one.  I wore honesty like a robe – justice like a hat.  I defended the powerless and brought joy to those around me.


But now I am a source of shame to those who see me.  These fools mock me with their stupid songs – and despise me in their hearts.  They know I have no protector – so they attack me without restraint. I am in deep misery – my very bones ache with pain.  I cry to God but he does not answer.


Have you caught me in a lie?  Let God judge me – for he knows I am blameless and pure.  Have I mistreated my servants?  Have I refused to help the poor?  Have I put my trust in my money?   Have I rejoiced in the misery of my enemies?


If only I could face my accuser – to present my case and declare my innocence.

Elihu (@RamClan32) @Job123 I may be young and you old – so I held my tongue.  I listed to Job and to all of you trying to answer him.  But now I will answer – I will not keep silent.


Don’t you know that God is greater than any of us?  How can you dare to declare your innocence before him?  God speaks to us but we don’t hear him.  God disciplines us when we sin – he rescues his people.


But Job – speak if you dare – or listen to my wisdom.

Elihu (@RamClan32) @Job123.  Listen to me carefully – hear my words.  Have you ever heard someone talk like Job does?  God does not sin – he does no wrong.  Why must God change his justice for you – who have rejected him?  You are wicked and deserve your punishment – as you rebel and speak against God.  You reveal you are fool as you claim that God does not listen to you.   Turn back from evil!


God is powerful and beyond our understanding – he pours down rains from the heavens and the thunder announces his presence.

Elihu (@RamClan32) Pay attention Job!  Don’t you understand how God controls the storm and causes the lightning – how he move the clouds!


So teach the rest of how to talk to God – are we too stupid to know what to say?  We cannot even begin to imagine the power of God – no wonder people everywhere fear him.

The God (@IAM) @Job123 Who is this that questions me – brace yourself like a man as I have some questions for you.


Where we’re you when I created the foundations of the earth?  Who measured how long and how wide the earth would be?  Do you command the sun to appear in the sky?


Do you know where the gates of death are located? Do you know where light has come from and where darkness goes?  But of course you know all this – as you we’re born before this is created.

The God (@IAM) @Job123 Who sends the rain?  Who is the mother of ice?  Do you tell the stars how to move?  Do you know the laws of the universe?


Can you make it rain by shouting at the sky?  Can you tell the lightning where to strike?  Who provides food for the birds as they cry out in hunger?


Have you give the horse its ability to leap, to run like the wind?  Do you make the eagles and hawks soar in the sky?


So do you still want  to argue with me?

Mr. Job (@Job123) @IAM  I have no answers – I have nothing.  I have said too much already – so I will be silent.
The God (@IAM) @Job123 Brace yourself – I have questions for you.


Do you need to condemn me to show you are right?  Are you as strong as me?  Can you control the monsters of the earth?  It takes the best food from the mountains and is undisturbed by raging waters.


Can you catch a whale with a hook?   Will it beg you for mercy – can you make it a pet?  Can you strip off its hide – open its jaws?

Mr. Job (@Job123) @IAM I know you are God and can do anything.  I was wrong – talking about things too wonderful to me.  I had only heard about you before – but never seen you and am satisfied.   I take back what I said and will hope for forgiveness.
The God (@IAM) Eli1000  You have not spoken about me and my servant Job accurately – so my anger burns toward you.  Ask my servant Job to offer a sacrifice on your part and I will accept his prayer and forgive you.
Mr. Job (@Job123) I am so blessed now – the Lord my God has restored my health and my family.  I have more than I could ever have imaged – praise be the Lord.  #LifeIsGood  #GodBePraised #GodIsGood



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